This is my bad-ass dad. Last year I sent him a video for Father’s Day because I was in the states and couldn’t be with him. This year I’m posting on this here blog because he’s in the states and I can’t be with him. Again. Alack. Cursèd oceans.
My dad is probably the only man I can listen to on a pulpit without a single inch of my skin feeling like it’s on fire. There are many pastors and leaders whom I respect and have learned from, but there’s something special about my dad that calms even the most volcanic hurts and angers I harbor in me toward the Christian church.
And it’s not because he, like, made me. It’s because he is, to me, the best example of a spiritual leader i know… when he steps onto the pulpit to preach, he doesn’t put on a skin, he doesn’t manufacture a halo, he doesn’t stitch himself up and puff out his chest and take on a “commander” tone of voice…
There’s no pretense… only one broken human man talking about the wisdom of the divine to a bunch of broken human men and women. when my dad talks about everything important to him - people, love, life, terror, God, the new season of Homeland - I don’t have to work to believe him… his eyes brim with the honesty of one who has learned to surrender to a God that we can not understand… and it gives him such an immense spiritual power.
It’s a power I’ll be aiming at my whole life. My brothers, his school, his church, even my blessed and wondrous mom, and the rest of this tumultuous world we live in, have dumped so many things into my father’s lap that would break another man… would fill him with doubts and anger. Those doubts and those angers beg to be hidden, they beg to be stowed away under the glowing skin of one looked up to by so many people [like…SO. MANY. PEOPLE], but what makes my dad such an endless source of inspiration to me is that he accepts those doubts, he wrestles openly with that anger, and through his transparency, I see God’s light shining through in this gorgeous, undeniable, and thrilling way.
Happy Father’s Day, Pops. You are such a wellspring of light and wisdom in my life. Your bravery and honesty and relentless commitment to humility have made me into who I am today.